Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Saucer Sleds

Today I had that conversation with my boss, the one I'd hoped was 4 or 5 years off - how we would handle a transition to a me-less office. Economy yada yada yada, expenses yada yada yada, give you the best references yada yada yada. I'm out the door in roughly three and a half weeks, although the exact date will depend on several factors which are still in flux. I've treated that place as my business as much as that of my boss during my time there, and it feels odd to think of leaving it. I've had a very good relationship with my boss, who as recently as two months ago was joking that I could never be permitted to leave her.

I'm still in the early phases of adjusting to this news, even though I've suspected it and seen signs of it for about two weeks. Do I try to find another spot at a firm? (There is one firm in town advertising for someone with my credentials, and I of course have sent over a resume.) Do I spend some time trying to really launch my photo work into a viable financial enterprise? (My boss is really pushing this, and although I've done more of it this year than ever before, it still is nowhere near a significant amount. I love the photo work - just can't figure out how to market it.) Maybe I should consider going back to school - the allure of that Master's in Psych seems to have faded for me, but my mind keeps wandering back to the thought of a Masters of Divinity and ordination. Certainly some sort of volunteer work; and I wish you could get one of those "teach English overseas" jobs in smaller, more manageable chunks of time commitment.

You remember when you were a kid and went sliding in one of those round metal "flying saucer" sleds, the ones that turned out to be so dangerous? There was always this point at the top of the hill when you were perched on the very edge of friction, just barely holding your place and about to hurtle down the hill in a completely uncontrolled manner. I feel like I'm there now, teetering on the cusp of a wild ride in a direction only marginally of my choosing.

If you asked me today what I want to be when I grow up, I'd probably suggest some sort of travel photographer and writer. A travel blogger, maybe; wander around the world taking photos, writing about impressions, and getting a lot of knitting done on the train. I'm just not sure what the market is like for a job like that, or if it will still get me home to see Rick on the weekends.


Maggie Brown - Liberty, MO. said...

Oh Jami, I am so sorry. Leaving is always easier when it is on your terms rather than through forced circumstances. I found your blog when I was looking for a knitting pattern for a soap sack. I have stayed because I love your photography and your writing - you do both incredibly well. Time and time again, I have been struck by how much we have in common. Husbands who travel, sons graduating from high school etc. Ironically, I do have my masters in psych and have taught part time the last 20 years for a local community college. I think in "real life" we would get along so well. I am sorry that you are in this situation, but there is no doubt that your future is so bright, you will need shades! Can't wait to see where your sled lands. Sending good thoughts your way.

Jami said...

Thanks a bunch, Maggie. It's sure to be a wild ride. :)